LIFE OF A STAY AT HOME MUM

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I met Joyce at my Bible Study Fellowship class where we are studying the book of John,she is totally awesome and blogs at at His Creation,head over there for a series of posts she has been doing on being a stay at home mum.Thought I would post the first part and ask that you head over there and read her inspiring story…

I am a stay at home mum, by choice. That’s what I have always said but maybe the job chose me.

At the beginning of the year I met a friend who I hadn’t seen since I graduated from graduate school. After the usual pleasantries the conversation went something like this:

Friend: So where are you nowadays?

Me: am home

Friend: oooh, you haven’t found a job yet?

Me: I have a job, I am at home with my children (am already grinning at this point because I can see how his face just drops, disappointment written all over it)

Friend: (Not one to give up easily) Not like that, what am asking is where are you using your skills and knowledge from graduate school?

Me: I am using them at home, raising up a godly offspring (my friend is becoming frustrated and soon he’ll be annoyed I can see that)

Friend: So when are you planning on getting a job; when are you getting ordained? (I graduated with a Masters of Divinity in Biblical Studies)

Me: I have a job my dear, I am staying at home and taking care of my children. In regards to ordination, I have made my application and waiting for God to open a door.

Friend: Ok!

Let’s just say, after that conversation I knew our friendship had nosedived for a long time to come.

The conversation above, in its different forms and variations but generally the same questioning, is one I have had with family and friends ever since I completed graduate school one and a half years ago. And the disappointment from most of them (thank God for a few who understand what it is that I am actually doing with my life) is quite obvious. The latest is from an elder lady friend who with concern written all over her face encouraged me to at least get a government job because it is flexible.

I became a stay at home mum maybe a little bit as a result of my previous experience of child loss but mostly because of my desire to be the primary influence in the lives of the my children. I strongly desire to have a godly influence on them and I felt I can effectively do so by being their primary caregiver. God willing, I also hope to home school them, what!, yes I do – but that’s a topic for another day.

So what exactly is my job? To be honest, I have been reflecting on this recently and the more I do the more I realize that when I signed up for this job – stay at home mum – I don’t think I quite understood its width and breadth. What was quite obvious was the mum bit but the rest of the job description that goes along with it was clearly quite oblivious to me. If you know me, then you know that I love being a mum; I thoroughly enjoy the job with all its ups and downs. Flip the coin and you also know that housekeeping (apart from cooking, thank God!) is not among my list of strengths.

However as I continue to learn on the job , I realize that child raising and housekeeping go hand in hand.  Moreover it doesn’t matter how good I get at child raising as long as I neglect housekeeping it chips away at the child raising efforts .

To be continued . . .

LETTER TO KENYAN PARENTS…with love

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Parenting is a lifelong journey, a growth journey filled with fears and tears, joy and laughter, filled with more emotions than can be listed in this space. Ultimately parenting is always a journey worth effort and appreciation.

The beauty and perhaps momentary difficulty in the journey is that it forces us to reflect on ourselves. It doesn’t seek our permission in bringing out our past wounds, perceptions, likes and dislikes, knowledge or lack of knowledge; our strengths and weaknesses surface as we interact with our children.

Through parenting, we are forced out of our comfort zone into a sphere of learning and an attitude of bravery. The journey often teaches us the value if simplicity, perhaps changes our priorities and pushes us to accept that we are neither self-sufficient nor all-knowing.

Unlike formal education, parenting is a timeless space of ideologies, trials, knowledge, information, perceptions and recommendations. It’s a school in which we enroll into endless learning, but with the knowledge that parenting is seasons-bound.

Content on parenting remains on the increase, and that is a positive thing. Perhaps what you and I ought to remind ourselves is that we are OK. Perhaps for the next five minutes, we ought to truly applaud ourselves for the journey that only avails stops, but no particular end. For we are to our children, an imperfect yet determined lot, a broken yet braving lot, a fearful yet attempting lot. Their presence in our lives expose our souls for who we are, yet propel us to be better in the name of parental love. In the craze of information overload within an opinionated society, we are OK and we ought to applaud ourselves for the journeys taken and yet to be taken.

 

Today, I want you to know that you are a brave and loving parent. Your imperfections mirrored in your parenting journey are meant to make you uncomfortable enough to seek growth. Time and seasons do sometimes have an uncomfortable yet loving way of propelling us to our next season of growth. Go ahead and be human, feel, wonder, seek, dream, ask, be determined, JUST never quit trying to be the best. Your children wouldn’t have it any other way, they would still choose you.

 

With love,

 

Esther Kinuthia

 

Esther Kinuthia is a Psychologist and founder of BabyInsight .

She holds a B.A in Psychology from the University of Nairobi and a Master’s degree in Psychology from Walden University ,specializing in Child and Adolescent Development.

She can be reached at info@babyinsight.co.ke or 0738 809667

 

 

EMPLOYEE APPRECIATION DAY

TO ORDER

Want your employees raving about you for the next 10 months of 2017 ?

Show them how much your appreciate their hard work by getting in your orders early  for Valentines Day .

You know ,we think February should ideally  be renamed Employee Appreciation Month.That way no one gets to miss out on gifts whether you have a sweet heart or not.

And keeps everyone in a good mood for the whole day,increases productivity and no one has to call in sick that day.

We even have the perfect date for it,the 14th of February.

Who better to thank for making your company,organisation or business  do a totally amazing job,12 months a year than your  faithful employees.

The men and women who for 40 hours a week and more help you achieve your targets,delight your customers and give of themselves faithfully every day.

Thank them for doing a great job this February by ordering sweet treats for them and get yourself the Employer of the Year Award.

Send us an email with what you need and we will get our elves busy wrapping them!

THIS FEBRUARY ,LETS GO PINK !

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In February we will go all out in pink.

Pink is the color associated with being feminine.

It represents compassion,nurturing and love all considered feminine traits.

Pink is a combination of red and white and tones down the passion associated with the color red with the gentle loving energy of the color white.

Pink is a favourite color of most girls ,who will most likely go through a pink phase as they grow up.

In color psychology it is said pink signifies hope and comforting feelings.

It is an inspiring color and we thought of picking it for the month of February as we run a series of articles that will inspire you .

Our aim at Maridadi Lifestyle is to remind women how totally awesome they are  as mothers,career women,single women , whatever journey of life they are in,they need to know they are okay just the way they are.

That there will never be another you in this world,that you do not need to admire another woman’s gifts or be like her to be truly happy,just be you and be he best at being who you are and what you have been called to do.

You are precious.

The thing is most women struggle with feeling inadequate in one  area or another.

I should know because I am a woman.

We want to be a little taller,leaner,smarter or more creative,we admire women who seemingly have got everything all together.

They live in a bigger house,have children who did not have to throw a tantrum before doing their homework,wished our babies could gain just a little bit more weight or were not so chubby,I could go on and on.

We seem to never have anything just the way we would like it.

Guess what,things are okay just the way they are.

And those women we admire,they are facing a different kind of battle with themselves.

You may not be as lean as you want to be,but you are working on it.

Your children are not the most well-behaved on the lane,but you are trying.

You do not have the house or home you want ,but you are saving up for it.

You are not the perfect friend,but you are trying.

Life is a marathon,not a sprint,so enjoy the journey and phase you are in and make the best of it.

And this month we want to celebrate women who are doing especially well at being themselves in whatever area they are in as well as telling women to enjoy the stage in life they are in.

So here is to a month filled with hope and inspiration and may you walk proudly this month and every other month knowing that you are a gentle force that can change your family,your community,your country and the world.

 

 

Xx,

Santina

 

WOULD YOU CONSIDER HAVING AN UNPLUGGED WEDDING ?

unplugged-2Everywhere you look everyone is snapping away with their phones at something.

Even at weddings,guests have pictures of the happy couple on Instagram,Snapchat,Facebook before you can say “cheese.”

Some really adventurous couples are choosing to have  their weddings “unplugged” and asking guests to put away their phones and capture the wedding with their hearts.

Many are the times I have attended weddings and instead of watching the smiling faces of guests as they watch the bride walk down the aisle,all we see are  phones hiding the smiling faces of guests intent on capturing the moments of the day behind a camera.

At that moment while the bashful bride maybe be more than happy to have you capture the moments of her walk down the aisle on her father’s arm,maybe she needs to see your encouraging smiles as she takes the first steps towards married life.

In a few minutes the pictures are quickly posted  , unfolding on real-time on social media ,with comments quickly flowing in of how beautiful the bride looks.

Would you consider  going unplugged on your wedding day,why ask your guests to put off their phones at least for the duration of the wedding ceremony ?

Because sometimes the flashes from the tens of cameras of guests can ruin a perfectly good processional walk.

Let the wedding photographer have free reign during the ceremony to capture the first moments before they are declared “Mr and Mrs”.

In some churches ,photographers are restricted in terms of the space within which they can operate in,having guests and the official wedding photographer jostling for space to capture the moment when the couple is exchanging vows,is not a very pleasant sight,for anyone.

When guests jump in ,in the middle of the ceremony to snap away,they may ruin a perfectly good shot that the photographer maybe intending to take.

The exchange of the vows is a solemn affair and it is an honor to spend the time listening to the vows rather than taking pictures,it  shows respect for the couple.

At the end of the wedding ceremony when the couple , their family and friends   have  photos taken ,it is common to  find guests huddled behind the photographer and their assistants,eager to take their own shots of the newest couple in town.It then becomes very difficult to have the individuals in the shot focus on the photographer because there are 10-15 other camera lenses focused on them and it may ruin a perfectly good photo opp.

Yes,you may consider asking guests to unplug during the wedding ceremony if you would rather have them focus on the ceremony rather than on the photo opportunities.

Read on How to Choose a Photographer for your Big Day as well as share on why you chose to go #Unplugged on your wedding day using the Twitter Hashtag #WeddingEventHour or in our comments section below.

LOOKING FOR AD SPACE ?

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Our shop is now online and we are offering service providers and brands an opportunity to advertise at  Maridadi Shop.

If you have a great product or are  providing an amazing service that would be of use to our  savvy  reader is on offer for a limited time ,up until the 5th of February 2017.

Send us a great image plus detailed description of whatever it is you are offering and  if it fits within our advertising guidelines we will do the rest.

 

6 EXCELLENT BRIDAL SHOWER THEMES

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“Love has nothing to do with what  you are expecting to get , only with what you are expected to give ,which is everything.”

Katherine Hepburn

Organizing the bridal shower is the preserve of the Maid of honor with the help of the bridesmaids.

Unlike the bachelorette party,the bridal shower is held to honor the bride and shower her with gifts .

Female members from the brides and grooms side maybe  invited  and usually anyone invited to the shower should also get an invite to the wedding.

Hosting of bridal showers in Kenya usually falls on the bride’s closest friends who will also split the costs of hosting the shower.

Gifts are expected from those attending .

For the maid of honor or bridesmaids planning to host a bridal shower for a friend,we thought we would share some tips on the planning process as well as themes for the bridal shower.

Read on everything you need to know about being a bridesmaid.

Everything we have suggested in terms of gifts are items available locally.

Shower planning Tips.

1.Send invitations out on email with request for RSVP’s at least 4 weeks before the planned shower date and ask for RSVP’s to help in planning purposes.

Evite is a great tool ,invitations I created  for Emma Bridal Shower  can be viewed here which can then  be sent out via email.

Shower gifts are carefully chosen  and etiquette does require that the gifts not be too lavish ,the best gifts are practical and affordable household items that the bride can use in the new home she is going to set up .

Choice of venue for bridal showers can be the home of the maid of honor or one of the bridesmaids,a close friend or even a rented apartment.For some ideas a day out may work really well,whatever it is you choose have great fun with it!

Here are some themes we think are excellent ideas,feel free to add other ideas you may have  in our comments section.

1.Around -the-Clock Shower

This one is where guests pick a particular time of the day and pick a gift appropriate to that hour.

If one picks the morning session,then bring tea cups or coffee mugs,coffee maker,toaster , table lined,silver ware ,gifts will differ depending on the hour a guests picks.

 

2.Culinary School Bridal Shower

With many more Kenyans opting for ready-made meals,having a chef come and give lessons on quick and easy meals will be a treat for everyone involved.

Research and get contacts of chefs who are available and willing to give you lessons and have fun!

A great Chef to get in touch with and whom I follow on Facebook is Chef Raphael,you can reach  him through his Facebook Page-Chef Raphael.

Gifts for the day may include kitchen aprons for her as well as him(they will be a team now),a cookery book ,silverware or anything related.

3.Honeymoon Shower

Wherever it is that the couple is headed for their honeymoon will most likely be a holiday destination,either locally or internationally.

Bring gifts that the couple can enjoy and is  are travel related and  steer clear from gifts that could be deemed as   X-rated.

4.Pot Luck Shower

If you have a bride that loves to cook and relishes great food,why not have each guest bring a specific dish together with a recipe of the specific dish they prepared.

This is a good theme if the group of guests involved are especially adept at cooking and works best with a small group .

This kind of shower will take the pressure off the host for the event as everyone gets involved.

Gifts that you can give here may include a set  of high ball  or wine glasses,soup or cereal bowls,dessert bowls,place mats or anything related to the theme of the day

5.Tea Party Shower

Kenya is world-renowned for its tea and in most Kenyan homes,tea is the drink of choice whenever one has visitors.

Well take this a notch higher by booking an afternoon tea at a Kenyan hotel offering an afternoon tea service.

There are hotels in Nairobi that  offer tea services ,there is also tea houses that you could take a look at .

If you decide not to venture out ,order for or make  sandwiches,tea scones,samosas,fruits ready before hand for the guests.

Gifts appropriate for such a shower would be anything related to the kitchen,everything from fancy delicate tea sets of bone china(they are available and not too expensive),set of tea towels,tea,coffee,sugar sets,if the bride loves baking why not buy some baking tins.

6.Day at the Spa Shower

Book a day at the spa and get the bride thoroughly pampered and spoilt.

This gives the bride,her maid of honor and bridesmaids an opportunity to enjoy some girl time as well as  pampering before the big day.

Start scouting for a venue to hold your spa day early enough and be sure to ask if they offer  bridal packages .

Depending on the cost and what each bridesmaid is comfortable with,pick a venue and location  that allows everyone to attend.

Gifts appropriate for such a theme include spa gift certificates  that the couple can enjoy,gift basket made up of spa basics like body scrubs,face masks,fluffy towels,scented candles or a pedicure kit that the bride  can enjoy at home .

There you go,6 excellent bridal shower themes .

We would love to hear from you ,leave us a comment .

 

 

MARIDADI TV……coming soon!

 

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Hello and welcome to our soon to be launched Lifestyle Channel Maridadi TV.

Maridadi TV will be the ultimate channel for lifestyle,wedding and inspirational videos.

We are passionate about women and the  values that can  transform  them as individuals and as part of society  to be better and to do better .

We are hoping that through this channel you will be inspired to live up to your highest potential as a woman ,that is why our company tag line reads “Every inch a Queen.”

Subscribe to our channel on You tube and ask your friends to do the same.

If you are an advertiser who shares our brands values and would like to advertise on our channel,please send an email to     maridadi@santina.co.ke

Do not forget to search for our channel on YouTube and subscribe , invite your friends to subscribe too.

Be back soon!

 

Blessings,

Santina

WEDDING REHEARSAL DINNER

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If you are having a formal church wedding,a rehearsal dinner is a great way for everyone in the wedding party as well as the brides and grooms parents to get to know each other.

It is held after the rehearsal  when everyone is getting to familiarize themselves with their roles on the big day.

This informal dinner  is what is referred to as a rehearsal dinner and gives an opportunity to relieve pre-wedding jitters for everyone involved.

Kenyan marriages are usually preceded by dowry negotiations that go on for a few months so the main participants at the rehearsal dinner maybe quite familiar with each other.

I however think it is a good idea as it provides an opportunity to the bride and groom to thank their family and friends for the support they have accorded them through out the planning of the wedding.They may not have an opportunity to do this again as everything else on the day of the wedding passes by in a  blissful blur.

There are no set rules as to where the dinner should be held, but be sure to advice your guests on where you are having the dinner,time  and how to dress.

Those invited include the parents of the bride and groom,the celebrant at the upcoming nuptials,bridesmaids,groomsmen and other members of the wedding party.

Read on everything you need to know about being a bridesmaid.

If there are children in your party,it is also polite to invite the parents too,though you may opt not to have the children at the party as it may run past their bedtime.

Ultimately whether to have a rehearsal dinner or not is up to the couple,the goal being to thank everyone for their help through out the wedding as well as to ensure everything for the day ahead goes as planned and to ensure everyone knows what their roles and responsibilities are.

 

 

HOW VALUES CAN HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS IN 2017

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If you look at most houses in both rural and  urban areas in Kenya,you will find that these homesteads are defined by a fences.

The fence could be of barbed wire ,maybe it is a live fence or it’s one of dressed stone topped by razor  wire.

Fences define the boundaries between one home and the next , they are used to keep people as well as livestock in and to keep unwanted people and animals out or where to hang your laundry out to dry.

It is a cardinal sin across cultures to encroach on your neighbor’s land.

Fences are what we use to keep what is of value to us within defined boundaries,boundaries help us keep our valuables safe.

In our lives,values are what we sue to define the boundaries within which we operate in .

The reason we may let our goals fall through the cracks is when we do not know what our values are,,we lack “fences”,anything goes.

Without values which help us define our goals we will chase every opportunity and in Kenyan parlance we have come to define it as hustling.

Values are defined as personal principles or standards or behavior that define what is of importance to us.They guide our daily activities as well as act as a moral compass or guideline in the interactions we have with each other .

Societies throughout human history have defined values of what is important,things like respect for each other,honesty in business interactions,discipline and being mindful of the environment.These values are what are passed down generations and help shape culture.

These principal human values learned at an early age  are the ones that form the basis for most business and professional values.

After my last post on How to achieve more in 2017,I thought I would follow it up with another on values. goals.

Running a life and business without any values to help you define your boundaries is risky business.

In writing your  goals , your  values provide the guideline to help you define what you  can and will not do at a personal as well as at a business level.

Make this values known to the people you work with,your clients as well as suppliers.

Pursuit of a goal that clashes with your personal values is an exercise in futility,it will leave you depressed and stressed out.

Values define the boundaries within which you will operate in ,in both your  personal as well as professional life.

When you have your values clearly spelled out,you  get to see more  opportunities to help you reach your goals in 2017.

Your values will help you identify opportunities that come your way and are aligned with your goals ,opportunities come to those who are prepared ,know what their goals are and not those who are lucky.

And how do you get well prepared for 2017 …….by writing down your goals for  the year.

How do you clearly define your goals? by knowing what your values are.

There are times I have had to say no to work I knew compromised my personal values or did not align with my  brand  goals.

At times you may  even have to say goodbye to relationships ,personal as well as business that you  know are not good for you or your brand ,they suck the energy out of you,energy and time  that would have gone towards helping you work towards your goals.

Having values is important as it lets you know what is of importance to you and will help you focus on the goals you have for the year and be able to see those goals through to completion.

Use  your values to help you stay focused on your goals   and achieve more this year.

As always we love hearing from you,share the post with someone for whom you think it would be useful and remember stay fruitful and within your boundaries!